So I couldn't come up with a good Creeper or Stalker comic, because really, they just weren't funny. I actually do have a Stalker, and I really was creeped out. But everyone likes a pony right?
Okay, so here is the point where I'm about to make fun of another religion besides Catholicism, and I stop for a split second and wonder... nope, not really... I'm going to just make fun of them.
I'm sure you have all seen Sister Wives. Yikes. That's a whole big bundle of happy Creepy Mormon I don't even know what to say to that kind of show. As my single disclaimer here, I honestly have only seen a couple episodes, but I truly believe that was enough. Actually it was too much. I'm going to jump on my soap box here and ask, at what point in our society did we start glamorizing the freaks? Was it Michael Jackson? Sarah Palin? Whitney and Bobby? Adolf Hitler? Tom Cruise?
I have actually had many different friends from different faiths, even Mormons. Don't tell my dad. But I still MUST ask, why the hell do we have such a fascination with the religious CRAZIES? And WHY are we giving them thousands of dollars to do reality television, which as we all know, is a super accurate representation of reality? I mean I am completely certain that Cody from sister wives is really the best husband ever. Mmmm I want some of that! I love it when my significant other has 3 other significant others that he equally treats like crap. That's the life for me. We could live a romantic life all crammed in a box with our 46 inbred children and pretend like we don't completely resent each other for sleeping with my/your/her husband every 4th night in the rotation. That guys got it good. Scheduled sex EVERY night, and 4 lovelies to choose from. What do you suppose the conversation would be like if someone suddenly got an STD?
So now that I have spewed my opinion about Mormons out there and offended some more people, it's time for a joke. Maybe you've heard this one, but I hadn't. It involves my two favorite religions. So read it.
The Cardinal goes running into the holy father's office and is quite beside himself. "Holy Father, Holy Father!"
"What is it my son?" the Pope asks.
"I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," responds the Holy Father.
The Cardinal says, "Okay, the good news is that the Lord Jesus has returned as He promised!"
"Alleluia!! Praise be to God!" says the Holy Father. "What's the bad news?"
The Cardinal responds, "He's in Salt Lake City."
I'm sure you have all seen Sister Wives. Yikes. That's a whole big bundle of happy Creepy Mormon I don't even know what to say to that kind of show. As my single disclaimer here, I honestly have only seen a couple episodes, but I truly believe that was enough. Actually it was too much. I'm going to jump on my soap box here and ask, at what point in our society did we start glamorizing the freaks? Was it Michael Jackson? Sarah Palin? Whitney and Bobby? Adolf Hitler? Tom Cruise?
I have actually had many different friends from different faiths, even Mormons. Don't tell my dad. But I still MUST ask, why the hell do we have such a fascination with the religious CRAZIES? And WHY are we giving them thousands of dollars to do reality television, which as we all know, is a super accurate representation of reality? I mean I am completely certain that Cody from sister wives is really the best husband ever. Mmmm I want some of that! I love it when my significant other has 3 other significant others that he equally treats like crap. That's the life for me. We could live a romantic life all crammed in a box with our 46 inbred children and pretend like we don't completely resent each other for sleeping with my/your/her husband every 4th night in the rotation. That guys got it good. Scheduled sex EVERY night, and 4 lovelies to choose from. What do you suppose the conversation would be like if someone suddenly got an STD?
So now that I have spewed my opinion about Mormons out there and offended some more people, it's time for a joke. Maybe you've heard this one, but I hadn't. It involves my two favorite religions. So read it.
The Cardinal goes running into the holy father's office and is quite beside himself. "Holy Father, Holy Father!"
"What is it my son?" the Pope asks.
"I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"
"The good news," responds the Holy Father.
The Cardinal says, "Okay, the good news is that the Lord Jesus has returned as He promised!"
"Alleluia!! Praise be to God!" says the Holy Father. "What's the bad news?"
The Cardinal responds, "He's in Salt Lake City."
REM
Society has always glamorized freaks, thats why they appeared in circuses, on Jerry Springer and the entire cast of Roseanne. But*shrugs*, I FEEL fine
ReplyDeletealso I should note you don't need to comment on stalkers as you have creepy Jesus now staring at me...Just what I like a dozen or so Jesus's watching me as I read your blog..lol
ReplyDeleteRE: fundamentalist mormons... Have you read Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven"?
ReplyDeleteHahahaha! I thought Jesus was more appropriate than the soothing green photos I had before. He's just staring at anyone who looks at my page and making them feel dirty and unworthy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally agree about Roseanne!
@sage- No I have not read that. I am probably not very educated on Mormonism, partly because they don't let you know anything until you are "in" and I don't like to jump "in" until I know what I'm jumping into. I have read small parts of the Book of Mormon, ie their bible, and have a vague knowledge of basic beliefs. I'm not really here to debate religion though. I mostly make cracks at Catholicism simply because I have a mother that likes to lay the guilt trips on like thick butter to a biscuit. I was actually raised Christian, and I'm pretty sure that all of my Christian friends think I'm going to hell by now. I do know the difference between fundamentalist mormons and mainstream mormons however, and I just can't beleive in either one.
ReplyDeleteOkay, okay, I took the Jesus off, he was a bit much. I really didn't want this blog to be a debate on religion. It's really just complete randomness from my head and my little platform for Catholic jokes and making fun of Stalkers and the like. I enjoy drawing comics and posting my photos and artwork.
ReplyDeletelol and here i was just learning to tune him out...kinda like we do that odd guy that sits in the corner and laughs and mumbles to himself while eating nachos
ReplyDeleteLOL, there's always the Pope. I have a feeling there will be more pictures posted of Nuns and the Holy Father..... Just a hunch. ;)
ReplyDeleteur right Cardinal Ratzinger is much creepier than Jesus
ReplyDeletei think from now on i will make all my prayers care of creepy and staring at me jesus. My dear Creepy staring Jesus! O Holy looking at me through binoclears from the neighbors house Jesus! Our dear kind and carving our names in your leg Jesus. Great Following you home and mumbling about the dog telling you to do things Jesus. Amazing, keeps tabs on me and leaves me random pictures of places I have been, pictures that have me in them, pictures that were taken without my knowledge or consent Jesus. Yeah I like that Jesus!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHHAAA!! I love it. So irreverant... I love Talladega Nights for all the Jesus quotes like that.
ReplyDelete"I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life's journey."
Is that the kind of Jesus you picture? I know that's the kind of Jesus I would like. We could be friends. I could hang out and have coffee with a Jesus like that.
I can be very irreverent! And I love that movie as well!
ReplyDelete"Help me Tom Cruise! Im on Fire! Help me with your crazy voo doo"
Hahahaha! Nice!
ReplyDelete"I'ma come at yooou like a spider monkey!!"
"Ive never heard you talk that...Are we going to get it on because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now"
ReplyDeleteBEST.MOVIE.EVER.
ReplyDeleteTotally Agree!
ReplyDelete