Thursday, March 31, 2011

Chunky steak nuggets and Twinkie fed babies

Is anyone else slightly disturbed at the packets of "steak nuggets" that you can buy, namely at Walmarche?  Just standing in the check-out line today and looking at them amongst the smut mags about Katie what's her face baby mama to Tom Crazy Dude Cruise...  just made me want to barf.  And don't get me wrong, I love a rare and juicy steak...  But steak chunks in a pack?  Come on, even astronauts wouldn't eat that...
And the fact that it says, "more tender" isn't exactly a selling point for me.  Why would I want my beef jerky MORE tender?  I thought the point of steak in a bag was for it to be DRIED... like JERKY??

I was standing there staring at the bags of chunky nuggets when I looked at my phone and realized I had been waiting in line for about TEN minutes behind the SAME people with a young baby.  Now, I love MY kids, but I don't really like OTHER PEOPLE'S kids...  It's nothing personal, I'm just sayin'...  ESPECIALLY Walmart babies.  They just aren't right.

So, as I was standing there waiting to barf and basically zoning out next to the More Tender Chunk Jerky, I looked at the kid in front of me.  Now, as a side note here-I'm not judging the baby- however she did have a HUGELY chubby face, nearly obese, and a HUGE bald spot on the back of her head as if they locked her in a room and fed her Twinkies and forced her to lay on her back until her head went bald.  I mean, come on people.....  the poor kid has a few hits against her already, but seriously don't make her eat Twinkies until she goes bald.

The other thing that was annoying the living, steaming crap out of me was the cashier!  Good grief he must have been at least 95 years old and he was scanning all of their items as if he had never in his 95 years EVER seen a JAR of BABY FOOD.  Yes, it looks like regurgitated pizza stuffed in a tiny jar with water added, we all agree, but dear sweet baby bald Jebus and all that is HOLY, I have places to go and movies to watch and an ASS to sit on!!  The 150 year old man/cashier kept koochie kooing the ugly Twinkie mutant as the steak chunks began dancing and singing off the self onto the floor and surrounding my cart as I desperately tried to back away!  Before I sunk into the deep and dark abyss of Chunky Walmart Land... I switched lines.  I paid for my merchandise and ran for the parking lot. 

I guess it was another day of Close Encounters of the Walmart kind.  And no, I didn't buy any dripping, oozing, chunky steak nuggets.  I think I need a salad.....

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Many thanks

So...  Um... gentlemen, I have to admit, I am flattered and a little surprised that I suddenly have 6 followers... all guys.  I could be reading into this WAY too much, but it's great!  I only know one of you personally, so that's pretty cool.  I guess what I'm saying is, thanks.  Even if you just clicked on the box that says "share with your friends" or whatever and you plan on using me for material for your websites.  I am actually okay with that.  So again, Thank you!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Mutants from Japan...

Okay, so maybe saying they are from Japan is a bad joke...  Hahaha, but I thought they were pretty weird...   These are from the local grocery store, so of course they are not affected by Japanese radiation contamination...  But they are definitely mutants.

Friday, March 18, 2011

What a classy dame I am...

This was dinner tonight.  Heck yeah.  Great Grandma's wine glasses.  Beautiful.  Pomula, my new fav, might even turn me into a lush.  And YES, those are Van de Kamps fish sticks...  with ketchup.  That's the only way to eat them.  Love to all the classsy peeps out there like me who drink $7 wine and eat their fish sticks with ketchup.  God bless the Irish in me.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Irishmen... YUM.

Is it wrong to want a dark haired Irish boy?  We need more of these around...  I'm just sayin'....  The world would be a better place.  I'm not just saying that because it's almost St. Patty's Day, or because I'm Irish.  I'm saying it because it's true!

Walmarche toilet paper

So, once again I'm completely overwhelmed with guilt and life...  I can't even believe that anyone would want to read about all my rantings, but here goes anyway...

So the last couple of days have been good but rough.  Ava has been sick, 104 temp, cranky, etc.  I stayed home from work yesterday and was going to try to make it in today, but obviously that didn't happen.  To make matters worse, the kids had picture day at daycare.  Shea made it in and got his pictures taken and he looked very cute in his little striped polo shirt.  Ava however, decided to have a total meltdown.  UGH.  So she never made it through the line up, or even into her class photo, which would have been nice since this is the only year the kids will be going to the same daycare and preschool.  Walmart photos, here we come.  UGH again.

Of course, I had intended on helping the kids get through picture day, I was going to run Ava to my Dad for a few hours so I could frantically rush back to work to save myself a few hours of leave, but that didn't happen either.  Here's comes the guilt part.  I had my Dad watch Ava anyways so that I could do some shopping, spend too much money, and then come back home to regain my sanity for a little while before I have to run out again this evening.  So Shea is at daycare right now, Ava is with my Dad, and here I am sitting on my butt blogging to no one.

Say a prayer for me.  I also cursed at God on my way to Dad's because it was raining so hard I could barely see and I was beginning to lose my sanity as Ava was whining in the back for no apparent reason, she just wanted to whine and make lots of noise while I tried to drive.  Did I mention I cannot stand it when the kids cry or shout in the car?  I am EXTREMELY sensitive to the kids shouting in the car or making lots of noise while I drive, I don't know why, but honestly it sends me through the roof.  So maybe Ava going to see grandpa for a while today wasn't such a bad idea...  My patience is certainly wearing thin...

I stopped at Walmart of course and spent an excessive amount of money on impulse buys.  It did make me feel better though.  As I ran through the rain carrying the new life jackets and summer toys I bought for the kids it made me happy to know that I am making moves towards getting prepared for summer...  if it ever comes...  God bless Washington...

The bathroom in Walmart is always gross.  They have the sensor toilets that will flush hard enough to make you feel a breeze whooshing past your ass as you are just sitting down, as it sucks away your fresh seat liner.  Now the sinks are censored too.  You wave your hands in front of them for about a full minute before they will actually turn on, and then all you get is freezing cold water, only to then dry your hands on what must be the cheapest paper towels in existence.  You feel as if they took the single-ply toilet paper roll and put it in the paper towel dispenser instead.  If it gets too wet it starts to pill up on your hands.  Lovely.