Is anyone else slightly disturbed at the packets of "steak nuggets" that you can buy, namely at Walmarche? Just standing in the check-out line today and looking at them amongst the smut mags about Katie what's her face baby mama to Tom Crazy Dude Cruise... just made me want to barf. And don't get me wrong, I love a rare and juicy steak... But steak chunks in a pack? Come on, even astronauts wouldn't eat that...
And the fact that it says, "more tender" isn't exactly a selling point for me. Why would I want my beef jerky MORE tender? I thought the point of steak in a bag was for it to be DRIED... like JERKY??
I was standing there staring at the bags of chunky nuggets when I looked at my phone and realized I had been waiting in line for about TEN minutes behind the SAME people with a young baby. Now, I love MY kids, but I don't really like OTHER PEOPLE'S kids... It's nothing personal, I'm just sayin'... ESPECIALLY Walmart babies. They just aren't right.
So, as I was standing there waiting to barf and basically zoning out next to the More Tender Chunk Jerky, I looked at the kid in front of me. Now, as a side note here-I'm not judging the baby- however she did have a HUGELY chubby face, nearly obese, and a HUGE bald spot on the back of her head as if they locked her in a room and fed her Twinkies and forced her to lay on her back until her head went bald. I mean, come on people..... the poor kid has a few hits against her already, but seriously don't make her eat Twinkies until she goes bald.
The other thing that was annoying the living, steaming crap out of me was the cashier! Good grief he must have been at least 95 years old and he was scanning all of their items as if he had never in his 95 years EVER seen a JAR of BABY FOOD. Yes, it looks like regurgitated pizza stuffed in a tiny jar with water added, we all agree, but dear sweet baby bald Jebus and all that is HOLY, I have places to go and movies to watch and an ASS to sit on!! The 150 year old man/cashier kept koochie kooing the ugly Twinkie mutant as the steak chunks began dancing and singing off the self onto the floor and surrounding my cart as I desperately tried to back away! Before I sunk into the deep and dark abyss of Chunky Walmart Land... I switched lines. I paid for my merchandise and ran for the parking lot.
I guess it was another day of Close Encounters of the Walmart kind. And no, I didn't buy any dripping, oozing, chunky steak nuggets. I think I need a salad.....
I was standing there staring at the bags of chunky nuggets when I looked at my phone and realized I had been waiting in line for about TEN minutes behind the SAME people with a young baby. Now, I love MY kids, but I don't really like OTHER PEOPLE'S kids... It's nothing personal, I'm just sayin'... ESPECIALLY Walmart babies. They just aren't right.
So, as I was standing there waiting to barf and basically zoning out next to the More Tender Chunk Jerky, I looked at the kid in front of me. Now, as a side note here-I'm not judging the baby- however she did have a HUGELY chubby face, nearly obese, and a HUGE bald spot on the back of her head as if they locked her in a room and fed her Twinkies and forced her to lay on her back until her head went bald. I mean, come on people..... the poor kid has a few hits against her already, but seriously don't make her eat Twinkies until she goes bald.
The other thing that was annoying the living, steaming crap out of me was the cashier! Good grief he must have been at least 95 years old and he was scanning all of their items as if he had never in his 95 years EVER seen a JAR of BABY FOOD. Yes, it looks like regurgitated pizza stuffed in a tiny jar with water added, we all agree, but dear sweet baby bald Jebus and all that is HOLY, I have places to go and movies to watch and an ASS to sit on!! The 150 year old man/cashier kept koochie kooing the ugly Twinkie mutant as the steak chunks began dancing and singing off the self onto the floor and surrounding my cart as I desperately tried to back away! Before I sunk into the deep and dark abyss of Chunky Walmart Land... I switched lines. I paid for my merchandise and ran for the parking lot.
I guess it was another day of Close Encounters of the Walmart kind. And no, I didn't buy any dripping, oozing, chunky steak nuggets. I think I need a salad.....
Wow...I think you channeled me on this one...I had to look twice to make sure I wasn't reading something on Sympathy For The Devil...very nice and I laughed and spit coke on my monitor...so ty for that
ReplyDeleteHaha! Sweet! Spitting from laughter was the goal! I actually drew some comic-type pictures for these too but my scanner isn't working right now. I will have to post them later on.
ReplyDeleteLooks like dog food. Enough to turn a carnivore into a veggo
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly!
ReplyDelete