So have I ever mentioned that I can't frigging stand passive aggressiveness?? Now of course, I'm guilty of it all the time, but what I can't stand is when other people do it. Actually, I sort of feel gross when I do passive aggressive things, but obviously I just don't care enough to stop.
You know the kind of thing I'm talking about. It's like that guy at work that picks his nose when he thinks no one is looking and that you swear steals chips out of your chip bag when you leave for a meeting but you aren't sure, so you can't outright blame him for it, but you swear he does it just to make you second guess your own sanity. Or when your girlfriend purposefully leaves that glob of toothpaste in the sink but claims she can't see it when she takes her contacts out. And you lie awake tossing and turning and wondering if she does it just because you pissed her off by leaving your dirty socks all balled up in the laundry so she has to touch all that "stinky" to unball them. Passive aggressiveness can come in many forms and those are just a couple examples. (C'mon, you know you've done things like that before... be honest... Jebus knows the truth...)
Tonight I did something passive aggressive and I'm actually quite proud of it. Once again, the @ssholes that like to hog the laundry room were taking up two machines again. But the really stupid thing this time was that they decided to utilize two dryers at once, while my clothes sat in the washing machine, still wet. They happened to beat me in there by about ten minutes and stuffed a huge sleeping bag in the dryer I would have used.
Now, I've mentioned this situation in a previous blog post, but did I mention that I absolutely have no tolerance what-so-ever, not even an itsy bitsy smudge of tolerance for self-centered people that do things like hog two dryers so that I can't get my already washed clothes dry in a timely manner?? Nothing in this world pisses me off more than inconsideration like that. Seriously. These people are always the ones in traffic that zoom by you in the right lane, knowing full well that the right lane ends and they need to merge into the left, but they "pretend" they didn't realize the lane was ending and cut in front of you at the last second and clog up traffic! These people may as well just wear a sign that says, "I feel that I am a superior human being. Therefore I will cut in front of you and use the first dryer available, even if it's your turn because I deserve it." Just like traffic laws that prohibit passing on the right or cutting people off, they should make it illegal to hog two machines in ANY laundromat across the entire nation. Make it a federal law.
I would like to take a fog horn and stand outside on the front porch of these people's apartment at 3am and blab to the world how inconsiderate they are... and that they must have their heads inserted so far up their @sses that they are in serious need of an expert proctologist to reverse their craniumupglutimous syndrome. And then I would like to hang a neon sign in their window that reads "inconsiderate pricks that like to wear pink tutus live here and drive gay little cars." But alas, I cannot do that.
So, I resorted to leaving a peeved off nasty note. I REALLY wanted to write an entire letter stating how I could assist them in removing their lovely heads from their spectacular arses and how I could help them to gain understanding and consideration of their fellow man by tying them to a tree upside down, shaving them bald, and beating them for hours with bags of rotten fish heads, but unfortunately my sticky notes just weren't big enough. I had to write something like this:
"Thanks for hogging both dryers. I love staying up late. U-R-RUDE!"
Pretty tame really. I'm proud of myself for keeping those thoughts in my head that needed to stay in my head. I could have written a note about how I would like to leave a flaming bag of dog shit for them every year, every day, for the rest of their lives!!! I will find them!! I will egg their houses!!! I will... okay I guess you get the picture.
So here I am... up late... blogging away while my laundry dries. I threw the sleeping bag out of the dryer when it was finished and didn't even fold it up for them! HA! Take THAT! I just tossed it on the counter in a wrinkled heap! How's that for passive aggressive?!
You know the kind of thing I'm talking about. It's like that guy at work that picks his nose when he thinks no one is looking and that you swear steals chips out of your chip bag when you leave for a meeting but you aren't sure, so you can't outright blame him for it, but you swear he does it just to make you second guess your own sanity. Or when your girlfriend purposefully leaves that glob of toothpaste in the sink but claims she can't see it when she takes her contacts out. And you lie awake tossing and turning and wondering if she does it just because you pissed her off by leaving your dirty socks all balled up in the laundry so she has to touch all that "stinky" to unball them. Passive aggressiveness can come in many forms and those are just a couple examples. (C'mon, you know you've done things like that before... be honest... Jebus knows the truth...)
Tonight I did something passive aggressive and I'm actually quite proud of it. Once again, the @ssholes that like to hog the laundry room were taking up two machines again. But the really stupid thing this time was that they decided to utilize two dryers at once, while my clothes sat in the washing machine, still wet. They happened to beat me in there by about ten minutes and stuffed a huge sleeping bag in the dryer I would have used.
Now, I've mentioned this situation in a previous blog post, but did I mention that I absolutely have no tolerance what-so-ever, not even an itsy bitsy smudge of tolerance for self-centered people that do things like hog two dryers so that I can't get my already washed clothes dry in a timely manner?? Nothing in this world pisses me off more than inconsideration like that. Seriously. These people are always the ones in traffic that zoom by you in the right lane, knowing full well that the right lane ends and they need to merge into the left, but they "pretend" they didn't realize the lane was ending and cut in front of you at the last second and clog up traffic! These people may as well just wear a sign that says, "I feel that I am a superior human being. Therefore I will cut in front of you and use the first dryer available, even if it's your turn because I deserve it." Just like traffic laws that prohibit passing on the right or cutting people off, they should make it illegal to hog two machines in ANY laundromat across the entire nation. Make it a federal law.
I would like to take a fog horn and stand outside on the front porch of these people's apartment at 3am and blab to the world how inconsiderate they are... and that they must have their heads inserted so far up their @sses that they are in serious need of an expert proctologist to reverse their craniumupglutimous syndrome. And then I would like to hang a neon sign in their window that reads "inconsiderate pricks that like to wear pink tutus live here and drive gay little cars." But alas, I cannot do that.
So, I resorted to leaving a peeved off nasty note. I REALLY wanted to write an entire letter stating how I could assist them in removing their lovely heads from their spectacular arses and how I could help them to gain understanding and consideration of their fellow man by tying them to a tree upside down, shaving them bald, and beating them for hours with bags of rotten fish heads, but unfortunately my sticky notes just weren't big enough. I had to write something like this:
"Thanks for hogging both dryers. I love staying up late. U-R-RUDE!"
Pretty tame really. I'm proud of myself for keeping those thoughts in my head that needed to stay in my head. I could have written a note about how I would like to leave a flaming bag of dog shit for them every year, every day, for the rest of their lives!!! I will find them!! I will egg their houses!!! I will... okay I guess you get the picture.
So here I am... up late... blogging away while my laundry dries. I threw the sleeping bag out of the dryer when it was finished and didn't even fold it up for them! HA! Take THAT! I just tossed it on the counter in a wrinkled heap! How's that for passive aggressive?!
lol! "I REALLY wanted to write an entire letter stating how I could assist them in removing their lovely heads from their spectacular arses and how I could help them to gain understanding and consideration of their fellow man by tying them to a tree upside down, shaving them bald, and beating them for hours with bags of rotten fish heads, but unfortunately my sticky notes just weren't big enough" Best part of the whole thing! Maybe also tie them up naked and cover them in honey and let a starved dog go to town!
ReplyDeleteOne word... BEARS. Just BEARS.
ReplyDeleteNOOOOOO! Bears scare me.
ReplyDeleteTake a deep breath, smell the coffee, and don't let these people live in your head rent free...
ReplyDeleteAs for the nose-picking, potato chip thief, that's not passive aggressive, that's gross (and another reason to buy baked chips since no one ever steals them and they lay in my pantry till they're stale!)